Catching up again

Obviously, I began to feel better because the postings to this blog dropped off. I returned to work on Dec. 1. Got some news. My boss would be retiring at the end of the month. Nothing else to say on that matter. I would go to work and by 2pm would be totally exhausted. I would get home around 4:30 and crash for an hour or two before Peg got home. It pretty much became routine for December. The good thing about working in education is that we get a nice break for the holidays. I was off from Dec. 23 until Jan 5. Being Pittsburgh in the winter, it isnt too exciting. I started teaching a managerial accounting class in January on Monday evenings. This proved to be a difficult task with the end of the day fatigue and needing to go til later evening to teach. The next day was really hell. I have decided for several reasons not to teach anymore. Mainly, its the students. This class is one of the worst I have ever taught. Mostly 18 to 20 something pups who think that homework is an option and that all tests can be adjusted to accomodate poor study habits. I received student phone calls on a Saturday evening while having dinner at McCormick and Schmicks in town at 9pm. I received phone calls while on vacation in New Orleans. I received a call at 10:15 pm on the night before the final from a student wanting to know what was on the exam since he lost his notes. I figured if he waited that long to study, it would not help knowing anyway. Like I said, I am finished teaching.

My hip began to bother me last fall and contiuned into the spring. An x ray showed nothing but an MRI of my spine showed degenerative spinal arthritis, a herniated disc and a bulging disc. Celebrex helps alot, but now, another med for life. Peggy and I are having a race to see who is first in a wheel chair.

Not much has happened over the winter, but all my check ups with my cancer doc have come back clean. So, all in all, whatever I went through, the cancer is gone. If you cannot control your bladder, you are called incontinent. Since February, I have been off the pads and in control. Does this make me contintent? It does make me content. I go more frequently, but like I told the doc, " I can even reach the back of the bowl". Small victory, great satisfaction. I go in for another checkup in September. One thing I do now is wear a hat when I golf. Since I know I can generate cancer cells, I am just trying to be safer.

All in all, things are going well. I have a colleague whose husband just had a radical prostetectomy and I shared this blog with them. I hope it helped them avoid a few surprises and mostly to know that they arent alone in this battle. Thousands of guys and their families go through this and knowing that is a help during those dark times.

October

Things dont seem to be improving but at least there are no setbacks. I have good days and bad days. I still need, or maybe love, to take an afternoon nap. But, I am cooking dinner for Peg now and still putting up some tomatoes. It has been a great time to catch up on all the issues around the house. Since I am here, we could schedule the dog groomer (she comes to the house), carpet cleaners, fridge repairman, 2 vehicle recalls, water meter replacement, and I cant remember them all. My honey do list grows quickly. In mid October, my employer sent me a form to be filled out by my doc. I was tentatively scheduled to return to work on Oct. 27. Well, the doc told them I was restricted to lifting 10 pounds, needed to be close to the mens room, and also needed several rest periods through the day....ah my beloved naps. Anyway, my employer said, dont come back until there are no restrictions. Once I got over my dissappointment of another month off, well, ok, there was no dissappointment.

I told you about my golf buddies on my last post. One of the highlights of my year is my annual Manly Mecca to Myrtle Beach. There are 8 guys who go the third week of October. I look forward to this like a kid looks forward to the last day of school. Anyway, since I couldnt work, and the trip was paid, and the doctor told me I could do anything except play hockey, I went. In fact, the doc said I would be a better golfer because every time I would swing hard, I would pee my pants. Golfers know they should swing easily and smoothly but we cant resist trying to knock the pee pee off of a golf ball.

My buddies made sure I didnt lift more than 10 pounds. I didnt carry my luggage or clubs. Or groceries or booze. Man am I going to have to pay back next year. Anyway, my first day of golf was not very great, other than I was out. I did get tired, and I did need a couple of pads. But I was with 7 great guys and the weather was perfect. Plus, when the round was over, we got to go into the clubhouse and watch the Steelers win. After the first day of golf, we always hit the grocery store and buy lunch meat, bread, buns, coffee, food not good for regular consumption, enough tonic water to float a boat, dips, Crystal Lite for those on restriction, and of course, extra toilet paper. You can never have enough when you eat the crap we eat down there. We had enough experience to buy the booze the afternoon before when we got in. We flew in on a Saturday, and they close booze stores at 7 pm down there. They cant sell booze on Sunday, so we had a window to stock up, plus, we put some down on Saturday. Since I really only shot my regular game on Sunday, I wasnt too sure about the swing easy thing. Then on Monday, we played a beautiful course called Thistle. I was golfing out of my head. I had a 77 after 15 holes, well on my way to a round in the mid 80's, the best I ever shot. Then on hole 16, it felt like I was slipped a date rape drug. Well, maybe not that strong, but the fatigue hit me without warning. Sadly, it took me 16 strokes to finish the last 3 holes but 93 is still a great round for me.

I usually cook dinner for the guys one or 2 nites, but they would not let me. Which was good. I went back to the condo, ate a sandwich and went to bed, leaving instructions to be awakened one half hour before leaving for dinner. Charlie woke me up, I showered, went to dinner, returned home and went to bed at 9. I slept until it was time to get up the next morning. This pretty much was my week. I did not golf at all the third day, and the last day I had to stop after about 11 holes. But I still had a good time with the guys and the weather could not have been better. We flew back to Pittsburgh on Saturday morning to rain. It figures. It was great to see Peg. I usually dont get homesick, but not being up to snuff, I really did miss her this trip. We stopped for a late breakfast, then I went home to bed for a 6 hour nap.

All in all the weather for October in Pittsburgh was above normal. No rain, and warm. Halloween was over 60 degrees. I remember one Halloween we had 10 inches of snow. As I write this, on the news, they are saying that taking Vitamin E and selinium do not prevent prostate cancer. So if you are doing this, save your money and get your PSA checked.

A few words about my golf buddies. I have mentioned some of them in the last posting, but need to introduce you to the others. There is Dale and George who stay in the condo with Charlie and I. These guys did everything for me except for the shower thing. The other 2 I havent mentioned are Denny and this year, a newbie, Sid. Except for Dave, Denny and I, all the others are entrepreneurs and own their own business. Bruce and Dale are retired, the others still work many hours a day, and Denny and I are in senior management, a fun job that masochists love. Dave is retired but works as a consultant in Human Resource Management. The point I am attempting to make here is that we all make about a hundred decisions a day as part of our job. When we are on vacation, no one wants to make one decision. Issues like where to go for breakfast or dinner can take hours to resolve. It is almost comical to watch that hot potato get passed about. Thankfully, Bruce will usually help us make up our minds. I cant thank these guys enough for this year in Myrtle. I couldnt have done it without them. It was a blast, even if only when I was awake.

The Road to Recovery

How is that for a title? Sounds like a 12 step program. Anyway, recovery is so gradual that it is pointless to try to list everything week by week. Since I am now allowed to drive, I wanted to get out for a bit just about every day. My doc told me that once the catheter came out, he didnt care if I played hockey. A typical day begins with me hitting the showers after Peg leaves for work. I put on a pot of coffee and read the paper. Not a bad life. Make a nice breakfast around 9am. I would try to get to a big box store such as Lowes, Home Depot, Costco, or Wal Mart to just get some walking in. Initially, I couldnt go very far or very long. And almost every day, that three pm nap had to happen. Within 2 weeks I was able to be out of the house for 2 or 3 hours without too much fatigue. Finally, on a beautiful fall Friday, I met my golf buddies Stevie, Bruce, Poke Chop, and Charlie for a couple of beers in New Castle. It was such great therapy to see the guys and get away for an afternoon. Peg worried about me holding up, but I did just fine. My buddy Stevie, who will never read this because a telephone is as technical as he gets, had a bout of bladder cancer a few years ago and he was a good sympathetic ear and consultant through this. I have been blessed with good friends, and my relationship with each of them has its own uniqueness. Stevie is just a character that gives me tons of laughs and golf tips. Bruce is the Mel Brooks of the bunch, always laughing and telling jokes. He keeps me well supplied with great email humor. Pork Chop was a Human Resource exec and we trade our management stories. Plus, he was a drummer, as I was. Pork Chop is a die hard Cleveland Browns fan so we have a lot of needling about them and the Steelers. He has a Browns helmet autographed by Jimmy Brown. I have to tip my hat to that one. If there ever was a Cleveland player I admired, it was Jimmy Brown. Charlie and I are closer than the others. I have know him longer and he has introduced me to all the other guys. We both love golf, gin and our wives. We usually spend New Years Eve together, and take a summer vacation together. Charlie's wife Lynn made me a sunshine basket when I came home from the hospital. There were wrapped, numbered gifts in the basket that I was to open on the day indicated by the number. For example, day 1, was a pack of chicken soup. Each days gift had a great riddle attached. There was candy, DVD's, puzzles, books, and a bottle of wine. It was really great and lots of fun to look forward to every day.

My concerns now are centered on the incontinence and fatigue. I can walk a flight of steps and need to sit to catch my breath. The other problem isnt that bad, but more a constant worry. I cant go anywhere without making sure I find the closest bathroom. Peg and I went to dinner for the first time since surgery after church on a Saturday night. Pennsylvania just passed a smoking ban in public places, which by the way is so full of holes it is pointless. Anyway, I had to go to the mens room. I really need the stall to make sure there are no accidents. Wouldnt you know it, some jag off was in the stall smoking. I wanted to pee on his shoes, but I cant get a stream. Pennsylvania passes a smoking ban then has given out 3,000 plus exemptions in the 2 months since. Way to go. The tobacco lobbies must be writing checks at record speed. Not really wanting to get into politics, but this recuperation time afforded me a front row seat to the final 2 months of the presidential race, and the financial collapse of the world. Nothing like real tv to keep things lively. Only thing missing were congressional hearings.

Sept 21 Week

It is Sunday, Sept 21 and I had a great night sleep. I was exhausted from my excursion the day before. Plus, I had a manhatten and a vicodan left over from a sprained ankle. Sleep of the dead. Peg and I went to mass and then to Trader Horn where I found a food mill. I should have gone there first. This store ranks right up there with Tractor Supply. Another favorite. We came home and prepared to watch the Steeler game. The Steelers played the Eagles and lost 15-6. No offense again. Beginning to think Joe Walton came back as offensive coordinator. When he was the coach, the signs in the stadium would say " Hey J E where's the O?" Hope you get my drift.

Anyway, a good game to have a couple of cocktails. I had my travel catheter bag on my leg since I had been out and about. First drink, I could almost see that bag fill up. Remember, it was warm and I was wearing shorts. Dumped the bag. Half hour later, had to dump the bag. One of my classic post surg line was at that point when I told Peg it was hell once you break the bubble. I decided to have another cocktail, but I put my overnight bag on first. Hah, I was good for 6 hours anyway.

Tuesday was the day I was getting my catheter removed. If you remember as a child how you felt on Christmas Eve, you have about one half the sense of excitement I had at finally getting that thing out.

Tuesday morning at 8 am, Peg took me to the docs. I didnt see him but his nurse was going to pull the catheter. I had taken my pads with me so that I could put them on right away. Well, I went into the room with Peg and laid on the table. The nurse took a syringe and drained the fluid from the catheter which held it in my bladder. Then she said the best thing for me to do was take a deep breath. I didnt like the sound of that but I obliged. She gave a yank, and that breath came out like a tornado. I saw all white and dont believe I have ever felt pain like that in my life. Peg was sitting by my feet and I kept curling my toes as the only response to the pain. The nurse said it was out, but I am not sure if she meant the catheter or my spine. I put my diaper on and we left. I was not to see the doc until Nov. 6. On the way home, me in the passenger seat, I couldnt hold back the tears. For the first time, I just gave in. I allowed myself that morning to wallow, but that was about it, although Peg may argue. Between the pain from the catheter irritation, the removal, and the incision, I just had had enough. I also learned quickly that Depends Man Guards do not work with boxer briefs. It was a trip to Wally World to get 8 pairs of tighty whiteys. At least now without the catheter, I was allowed to drive. I didnt really care about driving but I did want to get on my tractor and cut the grass. The problem was that I could not lift more than 10 pounds, so I had to figure out how to empty the bags. I just pulled handfulls of grass out until they were light enough for me to pick up. Anyway, humility aside for the sake of literature, my first stop to empty the bags, I had to pee. I already knew that once I felt that, I had about 10 seconds to get to the toilet. I am on my tractor about 150 feet from the house and there ain't no way. I jumped off the tractor and was going to try to get home. Then I thought "fuck it", put my hand on the hood of the tractor, and used that diaper for what it was designed for. It was great.

The day after my catheter came out, I got up and started my morning in the bathroom. All I could manage was a very slow drip. I became concerned fearing that the bag was going back on. I dribbled all morning and was becoming upset and frustrated. I called the docs office on Thursday and the told me to come right over. They asked me to go in a cup which they check for an infection, which came back negative. Then the did a sonagram on my bladder to see if I was not emptying completely. No infection and I did drain the weasel. They called the doc and he said for me to go home and do Kegel exercises. Now, Peg and I do Kegels. I am not explaining them if you dont know what they are, that is what Google is for.

First Week Home.

I caught some hell from Peg's cousins about not keeping up my blog. So now, I will try to cover the past 8 weeks or so. I left off with my first day coming home. The next morning, Peg had to get her hair done, so I got up, showered, put on a robe and went into my manly room to watch tv and drink coffee. This room is on the second floor and I could navigate very easily. Shortly after Peg left, I decided that I needed to get dressed and go fix some breakfast. It took a bit since bending is pretty difficult and that catheter is a pain. I was able to slip some gym shorts on without having to remove the bag, and waddle myself downstairs. I had some cereal and went back up to the manly room. I figured I had better become independent quickly since Peg would be going to work. It is amazing how tired you become after minimum effort. I had my afternoon nap and Peg made us dinner. I stayed up until 9 pm and felt that was a big accomplishment. I can only sleep on my back, which is not my preferred side for sleeping, but the incision hurts too badly to try anything else. I am able to sleep well through the night. The benefit of a catheter is that you dont have any midnight potty calls. I spent Sunday sitting in the family room watching football. Nothing I wouldnt do if I were healthy either.

Showering is one of those great pleasures in life. My routine is to get up, empty the bag, take my meds then hit the shower. I asked Peg to put a hook on a suction cup inside the shower door so that I can hook my bag on it and be free to move around. This works really well. I dont have any bandage on my incision and doc says it is ok to shower. I make sure I keep this clean, but it still gets some infection which I take care of with Neosporin. The worst is the catheter tube. I am very sore at the point of entry, and there is an almost constant discharge because of the irritation. I did start using Neosporin on this and it helped alot. So, my morning shower has become one of the highlights of my day, right up there with my afternoon nap. Of course that nap is a bit more than that. I would try to stay awake til about 3pm and then Peg would wake me when she came home, most days. One day, it was almost 7 when she came in and woke me. The fatigue is really hard to describe. I can be feeling great one minute, then it seems like I have been hit by a truck and need to sleep the next.

I have not had a cocktail since before surgery, and really, I am not interested in having one. Those that know me must be amazed. I have a Doctor appointment on Thursday. Peg works from home so that she can take me. The doc says that the pathology shows that the cancer was .01 centimeter from coming through the prostate wall. He got it in time, and thinks I will make a full recovery. The nurse removes my staples. This will be great to make showering easier. All in all, everything is well according to doc, and I am right where I should be for recovery.

By Saturday, one week plus 1 day after coming home, I demand that Peg get me out of the house. We start our trip to Tractor Supply. I am looking for a food mill to put up the tomatoes that are coming in like gangbusters from my deck garden. No luck at Tractor Supply, but I really like this place and it is a manly store to browse. I noticed Peg did not get the same enjoyment from being there that I do. She didnt even look at the tractor tires they sell! The next stop was lunch and we went to Mad Mex. We ate lunch and walked across the mall to the Rite Aid to look for diapers for me. My catheter was coming out in 3 days. My point is not to bore you with the details here, I just want you to note the walking involved. We went to another mall, checked out Linen and Things, then Target looking for that food mill. No luck.

Peg needed to make one more stop at Giant Eagle to pick up some things for dinner. I had to go in because my catheter bag was full. By this time, I could barely move from exhaustion and irritation from the catheter hose. I got home and went to bed for a few hours. The problem with a catheter is that the hose cannot come out since there is an inflated balloon inside the bladder that holds it in. It can, however, move in and out about a quarter inch. This happense ever time I take a step. So after all this walking, I was quite miserable from the irritation. I did have a manhatten that evening, and for any ailment, Bourbon, I recommend Bourbon. I took a pain pill and went to bed for the best nights sleep since surgery.

After Surgery - Day 2

Thursday morning started with Mike, the CCAC nursing student, coming in as the day before. He got me up for breakfast and bathing. He roamed all over the hospital looking for a gown that would fit me. Mike asked if I had gotten up to walk and when I told him no one came to help me, he guaranteed me he would get me up today. About 10 am, he unplugged my IV pump, grabbed my cath bag and started to stroll me. I was moving pretty slowly, but moving. We did a lap around half the floor. He pointed out to me 2 very large men standing in the doorway of a patient's room. He told me they were cops and the person inside was a convict. During my afternoon walk, I asked him to take me past there so I could be nosey. Those guys were really big. The doc told me I would be released tomorrow, so I just resigned myself to relaxing and just getting through. Peg came in late again, after my dinner came and went so I wasnt able to eat again. She didnt stay very long, as I talked her into going home. She was pretty well worn out. I was just chilling and watching tv when my evening nurse brought me a bottle of magnesium citrate. This stuff is liquid dynamite. Usually with me it only takes about 2 hours to work. I really didnt want to take this at 8:30pm since I wanted to sleep that night, but I took it. I managed to get out of bed, unplug the IV and grab my cath bag. I sat in a chair outside the bathroom door and just waited it out. By midnite, nothing happened and I was bobbing my head like crazy. I got up and went to bed, and slept all night. Next morning, just after my coffee, success in the boom room. Now everyone was happy. It is amazing how the simple things like a good sleep, a nice pee or poop and all is well. I put my earplugs in and dozed all morning. Ate a sandwich for lunch and slept til about 3. Peg would be here by 4, or so, so I got up, put on my catheter leg bag for the first time, got dressed, packed and waited. She was right on time. I got home around 5:30. Peg had to go to the drug store so I just sat in my recliner. Big mistake. I couldnt get out of the chair. I had a bit to eat and about 6:30 went to bed for the night. I slept in the guest bedroom, where we had a waterproof mattress liner. Also, our bed is an old waterbed with a regular mattress, but with the siderails, I couldnt get out of that bed either. I was given Percocet for pain. I had better pain pills left from a foot injury, but stuck to the docs orders. My catheter bothered me constantly, but it diverted my attention from the pain of the incision.

Surgery plus 1

I was awakened at 6:45 am by my doc, Dr. Cercone. He had his physician assistant with him and the floor nurse. He told me things went very well and that he thought everything looked good. He didnt see any sign of cancer outside my prostate wall, but we had to wait for the pathologist report. He said he gave me one unit of blood. ( my anethetist gave me the other 2 ). He pulled down my covers, upped my gown and took off on the nurse. It seems a vital, no very vital, part of a catheter on a man, is the leg strap. This is an elastic velcro band which wraps around the upper thigh, my left. There is another velcro loop that holds the catheter line secure. The idea is that this keeps the line from directly pulling on a man's penis. It keeps a bit of slack in the line and reduces irritation. Hell it reduces pain. Anyway, he fixed it up, and said to the nurse that he wanted it to stay like that always. Thanks doc. I didnt know how much at the time, but I learned very quickly. Dr. Cercone told me that physical therapy would be up before noon and have me up and walking. I wasnt too excited to hear that but I know it is critical for my recovery and to keep blood clots from forming.



At about 8 oclock a lot started to happen. In my room came a nursing student from the Community College of Alleghen County. He had a pile of fresh linens and told me he would be taking care of me. I asked him which campus he was from and he told me Boyce. I am an adminitrator for CCAC so it was nice to have someone from the same team helping. Little did I know how much help. Mike covered my chair with a sheet, helped me out of bed and set me up to eat my breakfast. I was able to eat a small bit, but it was the first food since Sunday afternoon and this was Wednesday. Mike then changed my bed, brought me a basin of water, a wash cloth and towel. I washed up and he doted on me like I was his brother. His instructor, Prof. Gardner came in and when I told her who I was, she and I began to have a bit of fun. Faculty and administration in a college have an unusual relationship. Sophie was sure nice to me. She is a great lady and an even greater teacher. Her students impressed the hell out of me. Mike was aware of the doc's orders for getting me up. However, noon came and no one from physical therapy showed up. Mike got me up in my chair again and made sure I was able to eat lunch. After lunch he got me back to bed and made sure I was ok before he left for the day. Sometime that morning, the big question was whether I had had a bowel movement. I hadnt, which makes sense since I hadnt eaten in 3 days, but the medical minds couldnt figure that one out. They said that if I didnt go by noon, they would have to get me an enema. Hell, you cant get blood out of a stone.



Around 4 pm, they brought a fleets enema and put it on my tray table. Then the nurse left. Around 5 dinner showed up, and since there was no one there to help me sit up or bring my table over, I didnt eat. Peg came about 6:30. She was whipped from working all day after teaching the night before. She saw the fleets but couldnt understand why no one gave it to me. Well, the 3 to 11 nurse was sort of a beauty queen. She clearly spent her shift putting in time, but leaving most of the work for the next shift. Peg ended up giving me the enema. Glad my insurance was paying thousands for my care. Anyway, no success from the fleets, but if I could tell the bastards, it had only been 12 hours since my first meal, and not being a beagle, didnt process that quickly. I talked Peg into going home. She had brought me a pair of earplugs at my request. A hospital is the last place to go to rest. Once I put those plugs in, it was great. My roommate kept his tv on 24 hours. It was never shut off, and the crack medical team would not turn it off at night when I wanted to sleep. I kept my 12 minute vigil with the morphine until I was ready to sleep. I put in the earplugs and hooked up my bipap, and I was out. They came in and took vitals and blood during the night but I just kept sleeping. It was the end of the day after surgery, and I was just glad it was over, but my stomach still was very sore. Oh yeah, physical therapy never showed up that day. Around 9 I told my nurse that I was supposed to have been up and walking. She told me that if she were I, she would not wait for PT. Just grab that catheter bag and your IV pole and walk. Then she walked out of the room. The dumb ass didnt realize I could not get out of bed on my own. What service.