First Week Home.

I caught some hell from Peg's cousins about not keeping up my blog. So now, I will try to cover the past 8 weeks or so. I left off with my first day coming home. The next morning, Peg had to get her hair done, so I got up, showered, put on a robe and went into my manly room to watch tv and drink coffee. This room is on the second floor and I could navigate very easily. Shortly after Peg left, I decided that I needed to get dressed and go fix some breakfast. It took a bit since bending is pretty difficult and that catheter is a pain. I was able to slip some gym shorts on without having to remove the bag, and waddle myself downstairs. I had some cereal and went back up to the manly room. I figured I had better become independent quickly since Peg would be going to work. It is amazing how tired you become after minimum effort. I had my afternoon nap and Peg made us dinner. I stayed up until 9 pm and felt that was a big accomplishment. I can only sleep on my back, which is not my preferred side for sleeping, but the incision hurts too badly to try anything else. I am able to sleep well through the night. The benefit of a catheter is that you dont have any midnight potty calls. I spent Sunday sitting in the family room watching football. Nothing I wouldnt do if I were healthy either.

Showering is one of those great pleasures in life. My routine is to get up, empty the bag, take my meds then hit the shower. I asked Peg to put a hook on a suction cup inside the shower door so that I can hook my bag on it and be free to move around. This works really well. I dont have any bandage on my incision and doc says it is ok to shower. I make sure I keep this clean, but it still gets some infection which I take care of with Neosporin. The worst is the catheter tube. I am very sore at the point of entry, and there is an almost constant discharge because of the irritation. I did start using Neosporin on this and it helped alot. So, my morning shower has become one of the highlights of my day, right up there with my afternoon nap. Of course that nap is a bit more than that. I would try to stay awake til about 3pm and then Peg would wake me when she came home, most days. One day, it was almost 7 when she came in and woke me. The fatigue is really hard to describe. I can be feeling great one minute, then it seems like I have been hit by a truck and need to sleep the next.

I have not had a cocktail since before surgery, and really, I am not interested in having one. Those that know me must be amazed. I have a Doctor appointment on Thursday. Peg works from home so that she can take me. The doc says that the pathology shows that the cancer was .01 centimeter from coming through the prostate wall. He got it in time, and thinks I will make a full recovery. The nurse removes my staples. This will be great to make showering easier. All in all, everything is well according to doc, and I am right where I should be for recovery.

By Saturday, one week plus 1 day after coming home, I demand that Peg get me out of the house. We start our trip to Tractor Supply. I am looking for a food mill to put up the tomatoes that are coming in like gangbusters from my deck garden. No luck at Tractor Supply, but I really like this place and it is a manly store to browse. I noticed Peg did not get the same enjoyment from being there that I do. She didnt even look at the tractor tires they sell! The next stop was lunch and we went to Mad Mex. We ate lunch and walked across the mall to the Rite Aid to look for diapers for me. My catheter was coming out in 3 days. My point is not to bore you with the details here, I just want you to note the walking involved. We went to another mall, checked out Linen and Things, then Target looking for that food mill. No luck.

Peg needed to make one more stop at Giant Eagle to pick up some things for dinner. I had to go in because my catheter bag was full. By this time, I could barely move from exhaustion and irritation from the catheter hose. I got home and went to bed for a few hours. The problem with a catheter is that the hose cannot come out since there is an inflated balloon inside the bladder that holds it in. It can, however, move in and out about a quarter inch. This happense ever time I take a step. So after all this walking, I was quite miserable from the irritation. I did have a manhatten that evening, and for any ailment, Bourbon, I recommend Bourbon. I took a pain pill and went to bed for the best nights sleep since surgery.

After Surgery - Day 2

Thursday morning started with Mike, the CCAC nursing student, coming in as the day before. He got me up for breakfast and bathing. He roamed all over the hospital looking for a gown that would fit me. Mike asked if I had gotten up to walk and when I told him no one came to help me, he guaranteed me he would get me up today. About 10 am, he unplugged my IV pump, grabbed my cath bag and started to stroll me. I was moving pretty slowly, but moving. We did a lap around half the floor. He pointed out to me 2 very large men standing in the doorway of a patient's room. He told me they were cops and the person inside was a convict. During my afternoon walk, I asked him to take me past there so I could be nosey. Those guys were really big. The doc told me I would be released tomorrow, so I just resigned myself to relaxing and just getting through. Peg came in late again, after my dinner came and went so I wasnt able to eat again. She didnt stay very long, as I talked her into going home. She was pretty well worn out. I was just chilling and watching tv when my evening nurse brought me a bottle of magnesium citrate. This stuff is liquid dynamite. Usually with me it only takes about 2 hours to work. I really didnt want to take this at 8:30pm since I wanted to sleep that night, but I took it. I managed to get out of bed, unplug the IV and grab my cath bag. I sat in a chair outside the bathroom door and just waited it out. By midnite, nothing happened and I was bobbing my head like crazy. I got up and went to bed, and slept all night. Next morning, just after my coffee, success in the boom room. Now everyone was happy. It is amazing how the simple things like a good sleep, a nice pee or poop and all is well. I put my earplugs in and dozed all morning. Ate a sandwich for lunch and slept til about 3. Peg would be here by 4, or so, so I got up, put on my catheter leg bag for the first time, got dressed, packed and waited. She was right on time. I got home around 5:30. Peg had to go to the drug store so I just sat in my recliner. Big mistake. I couldnt get out of the chair. I had a bit to eat and about 6:30 went to bed for the night. I slept in the guest bedroom, where we had a waterproof mattress liner. Also, our bed is an old waterbed with a regular mattress, but with the siderails, I couldnt get out of that bed either. I was given Percocet for pain. I had better pain pills left from a foot injury, but stuck to the docs orders. My catheter bothered me constantly, but it diverted my attention from the pain of the incision.

Surgery plus 1

I was awakened at 6:45 am by my doc, Dr. Cercone. He had his physician assistant with him and the floor nurse. He told me things went very well and that he thought everything looked good. He didnt see any sign of cancer outside my prostate wall, but we had to wait for the pathologist report. He said he gave me one unit of blood. ( my anethetist gave me the other 2 ). He pulled down my covers, upped my gown and took off on the nurse. It seems a vital, no very vital, part of a catheter on a man, is the leg strap. This is an elastic velcro band which wraps around the upper thigh, my left. There is another velcro loop that holds the catheter line secure. The idea is that this keeps the line from directly pulling on a man's penis. It keeps a bit of slack in the line and reduces irritation. Hell it reduces pain. Anyway, he fixed it up, and said to the nurse that he wanted it to stay like that always. Thanks doc. I didnt know how much at the time, but I learned very quickly. Dr. Cercone told me that physical therapy would be up before noon and have me up and walking. I wasnt too excited to hear that but I know it is critical for my recovery and to keep blood clots from forming.



At about 8 oclock a lot started to happen. In my room came a nursing student from the Community College of Alleghen County. He had a pile of fresh linens and told me he would be taking care of me. I asked him which campus he was from and he told me Boyce. I am an adminitrator for CCAC so it was nice to have someone from the same team helping. Little did I know how much help. Mike covered my chair with a sheet, helped me out of bed and set me up to eat my breakfast. I was able to eat a small bit, but it was the first food since Sunday afternoon and this was Wednesday. Mike then changed my bed, brought me a basin of water, a wash cloth and towel. I washed up and he doted on me like I was his brother. His instructor, Prof. Gardner came in and when I told her who I was, she and I began to have a bit of fun. Faculty and administration in a college have an unusual relationship. Sophie was sure nice to me. She is a great lady and an even greater teacher. Her students impressed the hell out of me. Mike was aware of the doc's orders for getting me up. However, noon came and no one from physical therapy showed up. Mike got me up in my chair again and made sure I was able to eat lunch. After lunch he got me back to bed and made sure I was ok before he left for the day. Sometime that morning, the big question was whether I had had a bowel movement. I hadnt, which makes sense since I hadnt eaten in 3 days, but the medical minds couldnt figure that one out. They said that if I didnt go by noon, they would have to get me an enema. Hell, you cant get blood out of a stone.



Around 4 pm, they brought a fleets enema and put it on my tray table. Then the nurse left. Around 5 dinner showed up, and since there was no one there to help me sit up or bring my table over, I didnt eat. Peg came about 6:30. She was whipped from working all day after teaching the night before. She saw the fleets but couldnt understand why no one gave it to me. Well, the 3 to 11 nurse was sort of a beauty queen. She clearly spent her shift putting in time, but leaving most of the work for the next shift. Peg ended up giving me the enema. Glad my insurance was paying thousands for my care. Anyway, no success from the fleets, but if I could tell the bastards, it had only been 12 hours since my first meal, and not being a beagle, didnt process that quickly. I talked Peg into going home. She had brought me a pair of earplugs at my request. A hospital is the last place to go to rest. Once I put those plugs in, it was great. My roommate kept his tv on 24 hours. It was never shut off, and the crack medical team would not turn it off at night when I wanted to sleep. I kept my 12 minute vigil with the morphine until I was ready to sleep. I put in the earplugs and hooked up my bipap, and I was out. They came in and took vitals and blood during the night but I just kept sleeping. It was the end of the day after surgery, and I was just glad it was over, but my stomach still was very sore. Oh yeah, physical therapy never showed up that day. Around 9 I told my nurse that I was supposed to have been up and walking. She told me that if she were I, she would not wait for PT. Just grab that catheter bag and your IV pole and walk. Then she walked out of the room. The dumb ass didnt realize I could not get out of bed on my own. What service.

Catching up - Surgery

As promised, I will go back and fill everyone in about my surgery. I had to be at Mercy Hospital in Pittsburgh at 5 am on Sept. 9. I was the first person in the Same Day Surgery unit. Took care of all the paperwork and was taken to a unit where I had to take my clothes off and put on a gown. They took my vitals and I had a really nice nurse in there. She made sure I had a gown that fit, instead of one that showed the "full moon" and constricted my shoulders since it is a universal man / woman size. No, she found me a big boy gown and I was a happy guy. Well, as happy as I could be thinking about what was coming. Shortly after they wheeled me to pre op. Peg came along until they told her that was as far as she could go, and we said our goodbyes. That is weird. You want to be optimistic and say that I will see you later, but in the back of your mind you want to add "at least I hope so".



While I was in preop, they came in and took my vitals again, and the nurse taking care of me asked " Are you......." and before she could figure out how to ask, I said, "yes. Cathy is my ex wife". My ex wife Cathy is an ICU nurse there and has been there for over 20 years.



Well, shortly after, Cathy stopped by and checked in on me. She always makes sure things are good if I am in the hospital. She gave me the lowdown on my anethesiologist, saying the doc wouldnt do anything but would make the nurse anethetist do it. Well, in pre op the doc told the NA to start the line. The NA said she wanted to give me some drug that would relax me. She was a very pretty young lady, and when she put the IV line in my hand, I didnt even feel it. Usually, it feels like someone is putting a 10 penny nail in your hand but this was painless.....maybe it was because she was so pretty I had to be a he-man. Anyway, the doc came back and the NA pulled out 2 syringes from her pocket, and just hit me with both. Very nice. I forgot to mention that I laid in there for about an hour. And wouldnt you know it, I had to pee. Well, I fugured it wouldnt be good to go into surgery with a full bladder, so I told the nurse. She handed me a bed bottle. Under the covers with about 10 people around me, I did manage to contribute substantially to the bottle. This part becomes critical. This is my last good pee.



They came in and told me my surgeon was in the building but not in surgery, so they were going to take me back. They wheeled me in and I remember very little other than it was cold in there. The pretty blonde NA had a gown and mask on, did something to my line, and that was that. All I know is that it was about 7:45 when I went in there.



I woke up in recovery being pushed around in my bed. I saw a clock and it was 10:30. First question I heard was " on a scale of one to ten, what is your pain?". Not wanting to be a hero, I said 9. Bam, a shot in the IV line. Not much help, same question shortly after, same answer and bam, another shot. I was beginning to like this. It took a few times, but I got pretty cozy. In fact, once you quit bitching, the nurses quit coming around. The chit chat in there gets to become a real pain in the ass. I dont want to hear about kids, spouses, lousy dates. Hey, I am here and you should be taking care of me. Oh well, I was just happy to be there. They told me I lost a lot of blood and they had to give me 3 units. I had only put one unit of my own in the bank, so thanks to whomever gave the other 2.....I think, at least for now. If I end up with aids or hepatitis, I will not be this happy. Anyway, a sure sign of things to come, I laid in recovery for over 4 hours. Seems they didnt have any rooms. In grad school, I spent a lot of time in a math class studying queuing theory. It seems that you wouldnt do surgery on someone if you didnt have a room for them. I knew my Dad and Sister were with Peg, and I also knew my Dad had to be exhausted and should go home. He would not leave until he saw me, so I started bitching to the nurse. She was going to see if she could bring them back and viola, a room. They took me to a room on the eigth floor of Mercy. My advice to anyone who gets sent to this floor, is to go home or jump out of a window. I will elaborate more, later.



Peg, Debbie and Dad came up shortly after I was wheeled in the room. It was somewhere around 4 by now. I told them that my belly was sore, but I was pretty comfortable. I also told them that my backside didnt hurt at all. I thought this was a bit strange since my doc told me he would be going through my perineum, or as some of you know it, my 'taint'. Dad said just to wait til tomorrow. Deb and Dad left and Peg and I had some time together. We didnt say much but we both realized how much we rely on each other and how glad we were that we still had each other. She had to teach that night, and had to leave. It was about 5 pm. Peg left and they brought me supper. Well, I couldnt sit up, and so I figured it was easier to just not eat. They put a morphine drip in my line and I could take a hit every 6 minutes, up to 6 hits an our. I did the math and figure I could have a really good 36 minutes and a really shit 24 minutes, or just take a shot every 12 minutes and be reasonably comfortable. Amazingly, I programmed myself to wake up about every 12 minutes and hit the trigger. The first night passed with the usual interruptions, taking my vitals. I was not passing any pee, and I had a catheter attached. I asked if I could have water since that is a vital part of pee, and I hadnt had any for about 18 hours. They gave me a Ringers bag along with my IV, and I began to drink water. The first contributions to my bag were very bloody. I prayed for a better output, seriously prayed. By the next day, they told me I was the "King of Pee" on the whole 8th floor. I had serious output. It annoyed the nurse aid since my bag had to be dumped during an 8 hour shift at least two times instead of leaving it for the next shift. Another sign I was in a bit of trouble. I just figured the best thing was to sleep as much as possible. I did not need to sleep at night and be awake for the day. If I had to sleep, I slept. That night, I slept.

Home from the hospital

I was released from Mercy Hospital on Sept. 12, Friday. Peg finished work and picked me up. Having resigned myself to going home at 4 and knowing it would definitely happen, I spent the last day there very relaxed, just waiting for Peg. I am going to go back over the next few days and compose my thoughts and put them here. But, right now, I am still a bit weary and not all that able to focus on any one thing for a long length of time. I think I may have worn out my remote control already. But, today has been my best since surgery and I am hoping that I can continue to say that every day from here on out. I want to thank all my friends and family for their support and prayers. I had a problem with water output after the surgery. I am connected to a catheter so I have no control. I prayed that God would help me through this problem and I quickly gained the reputation as the King of Pee on the 8th floor of Mercy. Nothing like Divine Intervention. I am going to wrap up this entry saying that I am eternally grateful to all who helped me through this. Peg had unbelievable stress from this and so soon after burying her father, but she made it through. I hope the post stress relief doesn't hit her too hard. When I get a bit stronger, I will be back with more of the ordeal.

Vacation is over

My wife and I spent the past 2 weeks in Europe. It was the trip of a lifetime, and we will always remember the fun we had. We spent a day in New York City and saw Jersey Boys on Broadway. We were able to spend the evening with cousins from New York that we just love to spend time with, and as always, had a great evening. We flew out on a red eye to Paris, switched planes to Rome. We spent 4 days in Rome. A beautiful city, constantly buzzing, and extremely expensive. How about $12 dollars for 2 cups of coffee, no refills? We figured with our health profiles, let's have fun. You never know. We saw most of the tourist attractions in Rome, and even had an audience with Pope Benedict at Castle Gondolfo. Amazing is the only word I can use to describe that day. I know that I have been blessed with a good life and will be able to go through this cancer battle with faith and confidence. Rome was fantastic, but just the second leg of a great vacation.

Next we flew to Frankfurt Germany, changed planes and flew to Salzburg Austria. We hosted a German exchange student 4 years ago, and she lives 5 kilometers from Salzburg, just over the border in Freilassing Germany. Katherina, her sister Uli, and her father, Rudy, were there to meet us and take us back to Germany. We spent the next 6 days seeing the sights of Bavaria, including Berchtesgarden, the Eagles Nest, Wolfgangsee, and a good bit of Salzburg. We had a few beers and dinner in a beer hall in Salzburg. What a blast. It was a great evening, and wow, do they know how to make good beer. I had a lot of different German ( Austrian ) foods. One in particular, Leberkasse, which is a baked Bologna loaf, sliced into portions and dipped in dark mustard and freshly ground horseradish. We had schnitzel, schweine something or other, and lots of different breads. But the best was the beer. Brewed on sight, put in very large wooden kegs and served in traditional steins.

We spent a day visiting Obersalzburg and Berchtesgarten. These places have historical significance from WW2. Obersalzburg was where the Nazi leadership has summer homes, and a very large underground bunker to provide safety in case of an attack. The most impressive sight was Kehlsteinhaus, Hitlers 50th birthday gift from Martin Borman. It was used as his conference center and retreat, sitting atop a large mountain with a view that can only be described as spectacular. The temperature before going up the mountain was 72 degrees. Atop the Eagle's Nest it was 50 degrees.

We spent 6 great days in Freilassing hosted by the Breimann family. They were the best hosts and made us feel so comfortable. Several evenings we had traditional dinners at the Breimann's. We had Weisswurst, Scheine Braten, and a noodle dish made by Uli that was great. We left Freilassing for Frankfurt, where we spent one night. Our hotel had an American sports bar, and it was really great to have a few beers and wings in Germany. We left the next morning for a 9 hour flight to Cincinnati, then a quick hop home. We left Germany at 6 am EST and got home at 9pm Est. A long day, but we really enjoyed the down time on the plane from all the busy sightseeing.

I now have 8 days to go before my surgery. I am very much relaxed and confident that I have made the correct decision. Last night, we went to 5 pm mass and were fortunate to have Father Scott Seethaler as our priest. He is a visiting priest and we always feel especially fortunate when we attend his masses. Last night's sermon was about why bad things happen to good people. Not that I am a good person, but it seemed he was speaking directly to me. I am taking a much more optimistic approach to this procedure no matter how it turns out. Father Scott has been an inspirational part of my spiritual life, and last evening was no exception. He gives me strength in my beliefs whenever those beliefs begin to waiver. His words yesterday were all that I needed to feel confident in what is about to happen. Thank you Father Scott, you are truly a messenger from God, and an inspiration in my life.

33 days to go

We had a Celebration of Life for my father in law this past Sunday. It was wonderful. Folks got up and spoke, mostly funny stories about Jake. His good buddy and pseudo son Gino brought down the house retelling the story about the time Jake tried to shoot a deer and instead, shot a pickup truck. The piece of truck he hit was hung on the trophy rack at camp, and brought all of us to almost tears hearing the story again. This was much better than any funeral I have ever been to.

33 days to go until my surgery. I made my pre-op physical appointment today. Next, I need to have 2 pints of my blood put in the blood bank before the surgery. I want to bank one next week, and one the week before the surgery. Not having any second thoughts about my decision, but I must admit, I am a bit anxious about it. Sometimes, it still hits me like I was dreaming, and then the slap of reality hits. I was very much inspired and motivated by Dr. Randy Pausch. He showed the world the true definition of courage, and also showed the world a great educator. Had I been fortunate enough to have been one of his students, I would add that to my resume. I have had several teachers who have made a great impression on me, and I am sure his students will keep his memory alive for all their days.

Looking forward to 2 weeks vacation coming up before surgery. I havent had 2 consecutive weeks vacation since 10th grade. I think it will help me prepare for my surgery and also spend some great quality time with my wife. She has had a shitty summer with her father's passing and my diagnosis, but has been an oak tree for Jake and me.

My brother, sisters, their kids, my kids,grandkids and all will be in this weekend for a family get together. I cant wait. Nothing like surrounding yourself with family to bring happiness. I hope all goes well, and everyone has safe travels to and from.

The Steelers start the preseason in 2 days. Life begins anew. Go Stillers.